In an unprecedented turn of events, Americans have stumbled upon The Flyover, a daily newsletter that—brace yourself—reports the news without a panel of angry pundits screaming at you about what it really means.
"I clicked expecting a lecture on why I'm a terrible person," said local man Jeff Henderson. "But instead, they just gave me the facts. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I formed my own opinion. It was terrifying."
CNN, MSNBC, and The New York Times immediately condemned The Flyover for "reckless neutrality" and warned that allowing Americans to think independently could "pose a grave threat to democracy, cable ratings, and Twitter blue checks."
With over 1.6 million readers now onboard, critics say The Flyover could destroy the sacred media tradition of "spin, bias, and screaming headlines designed to cause panic."
In related news, The New York Times has launched a hotline for readers suffering withdrawal symptoms after accidentally consuming unfiltered facts. 👉 Don't be left in the spin cycle. Join The Flyover today—for free—and get the facts without the fluff. |
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