🐝 Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Copy Of Trump‘s New Year’s Resolutions

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Local factory worker Hector Flintstock has been working hard, following the law, saving money, and paying taxes for 50 years, and is finally able to achieve his lifelong retirement dream of funding a fraudulent Somali daycare center. ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌  Newsletter Sponsored by Alliance Defending Freedom Man Achieves American Dream Of Working Hard And Paying Taxes For 50 Years So He Can Fund Fraudulent Somali Daycares MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Local factory worker Hector Flintstock has been working hard, following the law, saving money, and paying taxes for 50 years, and is finally able to achieve his lifelong retirement dream of funding a fraudulent Somali daycare center. Read more Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Copy Of Trump's New Year's Resolutions A message from Alliance Defending Freedom Make An Impact To Protect Innocent Life Planned Parenthood can't keep doing this. We will not stand by while American tax dollars are used to support the taking of innocent lives. States are now free to direct taxpayer dollars away from organizations like Planned Parenthood that profit from abortion—and toward healthcare providers who help low-income patients obtain real healthcare. Alliance Defending Freedom will never stop fighting to protect innocent unborn children. We're working toward defunding abortion providers like Planned Parenthood in the next legislative session––but that can't happen without you. To continue this critical work, we need to raise $3 million by our December 31 funding deadline. Will you fight to defund Big Abortion and protect the lives of the unborn with a tax-deductible year-end gift today? Whatever you give right now will be matched, dollar for dollar, up to $500,000, while funds last.   Stop Big Abortion Planet Fitness Offering Convenient New Two-Week Membership For New Year's U.S. Returning To A Gold-Standard? Appears We Are Preparing…* Babylon's Best LAST CHANCE To Help These Families... One chicken, endless hope. Your $5 through Convoy of Hope gives a family eggs, income, and joy—transforming tears into hope. Give a chicken in honor of a loved one! Make a meaningful gift and help meet our 20,000 chicken goal! Donate Now!* Peanut Butter Reinvented. Roasted peanuts blended with roasted pecans creates a rich, sweet and salty, mouth watering addicting soft butter. Our nut butters have no added sugar and 50% less carbs than traditional peanut butter and are organic, glp-1 friendly, keto and diabetic friendly. Use Code BEE for 20% OFF!* End Of 2025 Savings On These Epic DIY Gadgets. Quantity discounts are available so there is no reason not to buy as gifts for friends and family at the same time. You Can Save up to 50% now, but hurry.*     *This is sponsored content. 45f7-h29p-9230-8jvn Stop Spam Folders From Silencing Satire. You deserve every punchline. Bee Mail puts our updates right where they belong—your Gmail Primary tab. Activate Bee Mail Now. Want us to stop emailing you? Unsubscribe here. Want a break? Click here to pause these emails for 14 days Latest News | Store | Download App | Subscribe PO Box 546, Jupiter, FL 33468 Copyright ©2025  The Babylon Bee, LLC. All rights reserved.