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Good morning.
Meta is taking a page out of the Jedi archives, developing a photorealistic, 3D, AI-powered doppelgänger of CEO Mark Zuckerberg capable of interacting with staff, the Financial Times reported Monday. The digital twin, which is trained on Zuck’s mannerisms, public statements and business thinking, is intended to make employees “feel more connected” to their boss, even if it’s only an AI character based on him.
To be fair to Zuckerberg, he can’t exactly make time for one-on-ones with each of Meta’s nearly 79,000 employees. On the other hand, given AI’s tendencies, employees might find their boss hallucinates more than a retired Grateful Dead roadie.
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There’s no “I” in team, but there are two in “fixed income,” and that business’s relatively dismal performance at the start of the year proved enough to spoil what should’ve been a big day for the entire Goldman Sachs team.
Despite overall first-quarter earnings that beat Wall Street’s revenue expectations and historic equities trading figures, Goldman’s shares dropped nearly 1.9% by market close Monday due to a marked pullback in its fixed-income, currencies and commodities (FICC) unit. CEO David Solomon chalked up FICC’s woes to a fickle debt market.
Needs Fixin’
The FICC business generated revenue of just $4 billion, a 10% decrease from a year ago; analysts had expected a 10% jump in the other direction. FICC results, subject to volatile monetary policy and commodities markets, tend to be fickle; Goldman’s first quarter ended March 31, meaning its traders felt the full effect of the war in Iran, for instance. The bank pinned the blame for the disappointing results on “significantly lower” revenue in mortgages, interest-rate products and credit products. Yes, David Solomon is just as frustrated with the housing market as millennials are. Still, he pointed out that the surprising FICC miss still marked “the 10th-best FICC quarter ever out of 100 and some odd quarters” in a call with analysts on Monday.
But they don’t give you medals for 10th best. The volatility that’s bad for bond traders is, in turn, very, very good for equities traders, who made bank amid the frantic trading landscape:
- Goldman’s stock traders garnered $5.3 billion in revenue, up 27% year over year and setting an all-time Wall Street record. The group had previously set the Wall Street record just a quarter prior, with $4.3 billion in revenue in the final three months of 2025.
- The firm said the boom was “primarily due” to a surge in equity financing, a.k.a. lending to hedge funds and other high-rolling players, as well as a surge in equity trading intermediation fees.
  Sniff Test: There were some small signs that the rollicking good times may not last forever. Goldman’s investment banking fees climbed 48% from a year ago to $2.84 billion, but the bank also said its fees backlog is now down from its record at the end of 2025. Meanwhile, Solomon warned that uncertainty over the war in Iran had already begun to slow IPO activity in March. In other words, Goldman’s keeping an eye out for the “skunk at the party” that JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon warned about last week, though it hasn’t seen it yet. Nor has its private credit division been infested by the default cockroaches that are also scaring Dimon. Exactly 4.99% of investors requested to redeem shares from Goldman’s private credit fund, just under the 5% cap; the bank also said it raised $10 billion for private credit strategies, while CFO Denis Coleman said its private credit loan book remains “well diversified.”
Written by Brian Boyle
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Photo via CME Group
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For a star investor, what’s buying a dip without causing a little bit of FOMO?
Palantir climbed 3.3% on Monday to $132.37 after Cathie Wood’s ARK Invest said it bought $11 million worth of shares in the software company across five exchange-traded funds. With the right conditions, it could be a bargain. With the wrong ones, well …
Pay It Forward Price-to-Earnings
For its part, Palantir has its own record to point to. When the software company, which makes data and analytics platforms for corporations, governments, law enforcement and militaries, last reported earnings in February, it blew past Wall Street estimates with a 70% year-over-year increase in revenue. Several underlying metrics also bested expectations, including a rosy $1.5 billion revenue projection for the first quarter of 2026, due to be reported on May 4. In the closest thing to a CEO cutting a Macho Man-style wrestling promo, Alex Karp boasted that this was “indisputably the best results that I’m aware of in tech in the last decade.”
But the lofty expectations implied by the value of its shares, which traded at 99 times forward earnings as of Monday, are hard to ignore, given this year’s concerns about potential artificial intelligence disruption of the software space. Against that backdrop, Palantir shares are down 25.5% this year. Wood’s decision to increase her firm’s exposure suggests she believes Karp’s team can sustain growth at a rate that will justify this valuation. If history is any guide, the ARK fund’s performance depends on the waves it’s sailing on:
- Wood’s flagship ETF returned 153% in 2020, earning her a superstar reputation for picking high-flying tech stocks. But the strategy has proven painful during bearish times, as evidenced by the fund’s 67% tumble in 2022.
- That dynamic has been on display this year: The ARK Innovation ETF is down 7.6% in 2026 amid software selloffs, AI upheaval and geopolitical uncertainty. But it has also handily beaten the market in the past 12 months, rising 56.8% on the upside promise of its holdings across AI, fintech, healthcare innovation and more.
If you believe the worst of this year’s geopolitical strife is behind us, like Blackstone analysts said Monday, then Palantir and other software firms could be well positioned in the months ahead. Markets signaled optimism across the sector Monday as shares in Oracle, Adobe, ServiceNow and Salesforce also popped.
Presidential Endorsement: Karp’s firm also earned an endorsement from the highest office in the land on Friday, which likely didn’t hurt the stock’s chances, either. President Donald Trump hailed the military utility of its tech, writing in a social media post: “Palantir Technologies (PLTR) has proven to have great war-fighting capabilities and equipment. Just ask our enemies!!!”
Written by Sean Craig
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Mix Dr Pepper, coconut sweetener, half-and-half and a squirt of lime juice, and you have a Dirty Dr Pepper, a TikTok-viral drink that McDonald’s is adding to its menu (exact recipe TBD).
The chain will soon start making a variety of new cold drinks, including modified sodas and energy beverages, The Wall Street Journal reported.
Mickey D’s didn’t make the decision overnight. It first tested specialty drinks at its short-lived CosMc’s restaurants and, last fall, launched new beverages at about 500 McDonald’s restaurants.
The New Little Treat to Beat
Dirty sodas are concoctions made by combining soda with flavored syrups, creams and juices. The trend took off in Utah (many Mormons don’t drink coffee) and went viral at the same time #MomTok and, later, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” became a social-media obsession.
Small chains like Swig capitalized on Utah’s big moment, opening soda bars across the US. Swig grew from 45 stores in 2022 to more than 150 now and is targeting 1,000 locations by 2030. But the top franchises aren’t letting Utahn upstarts own the fad:
- Taco Bell has dirty-ified Mountain Dew Baja Blast and introduced a line of Refrescas last year, while Starbucks rolled out caffeinated Refreshers this month. Dutch Bros., meanwhile, has grown into the third-biggest US coffee chain and not because of hot lattes. About 90% of its drinks are cold, and roughly a quarter of its revenue comes from energy drinks like its Shark Attack Rebel.
- Chinese tastes may also be influencing more chains to sell creative cold drinks. Luckin, the largest coffee brand in China, has opened stores in the US at a rapid clip. It’s known for low-cost, fruit-forward drinks, such as Coconut Latte and Apple Fizzy Americano.
Later, $8 Lattes: The Ozempiconomy didn’t kill little treats, but tighter budgets prompted consumers to seek more affordable indulgences. McDonald’s plans to keep the prices of its new beverages lower than those of competitors like Starbucks. The drinks are expected to have high profit margins that’ll offset the copious amounts of coconut syrup needed to deliver a true Utahn taste.
Written by Jamie Wilde
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- On Your Mark: Meta is on track to earn more global digital advertising revenue than Google for the first time ever this year, according to new Emarketer projections.
- Down on Down Payments: US existing home sales fell to a nine-month low in March as rising mortgage rates dissuaded buyers, the National Association of Realtors said Monday.
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Disclaimer
*Alternative investments are speculative. Past performance not indicative of future results. Terms apply.
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